They were vauleable? ( Writing)

I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yet everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I can gain Christ and become one with him.
I don’t mean to say I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to posses that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me No dear brothers and sisters I have not achieved it but I focus on this one thing Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. I press on this reach the end of race and receive the heavenly prize for which GOD, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

Crushed in ball, I yell out worthless it was all worthless. As tears poured out as I groaned and wept. It was dreadful reality that hit me like a brick that I had been lied to. Each time the thought reoccurred I lashed out in great weeping. It was worthless, foolishly worthless. How could I have been so deceived? It crushed my heart and left me with these words that repeated over in my mind with extreme intensity , Help me not be deceived into thinking what is worthless as valuable and what is valuable as manless. God help me to have discernment to know the difference between worthless lies, and truth that sets me free. " Oh God I yelled out as the tears rushed down my face, I said I once thought these things were valuable, God I thought they meant something. O God I loved them. O God I thought I thought, then I fall to my face, and I wept like a baby. Oh God ,Oh God I thought they were valuable. Even after seeing your worth and infinite value, Father I continued to make them more important then you, Father I told you I am busy. I am busy. Father! I told you I was to busy for you! I am amazed how you are so faithful to me, when I treat you with so little honor and respect. In my busy day was I, " fitting you into the crack of my day" yet I claimed I want to get deep with you, what foolishness. Any logical person knows that in a marriage relationship, the need of communication is slow and deep. You have to have depth in order to grow strong. I thought I could listen and on Sunday, and quickly fit you in each day, that I could build a deep walk with you. What a fool I was. Where was the deep hunger to seek and fast to know you more? I choose to dig in the garbage for my supplement and pleasures. I took such pride in my ways. The worth I gave you was so little, if I am compared how truly valuable You are. I cover my face in shame, you have uncovered my many lovers. My eyes have been opened. My soul cry’s out help me to run on the path of freedom, and not in prepared traps of the enemy. Your word has pierced my heart, revealing the wicked sin in me. I had I thought these thing had such value. O I recall, the countless night, watching movies, what hours I had wasted. What worthless words and ideas and images I allowed to fill my mind. O Even the so called good shows, were polluted with sin. I was reminded of when talk of yeast immerses the whole dough, and so it is with motives and TV shows. My heart ached as I thought about the TV shows and Movies I enjoyed, that my God hates and that mocks the very reason Christ was nailed to the cross . How could I enjoy and laugh at sin, belittling the serviceably of sin. I raced to my movies. Grading them without a second thought I trashed them one by one. Holiness not in my heart. Then enemy yelled back legalisms. Again I yelled back I want to hate what My God hates and love what My God loves. I want to be Holy as He is Holy. Holiness not comprises. Then I came to those I had enjoy and loved..My hand gripped to them, then God said Obey! I looked over the pile of movies, I wept like the old man who didn’t live the life he would’ve wish for. He says{ wasted} I wasted, the time watching these movies . The content and comfort wasting for hours, indulging in my self comfort when thousands are dying. I often reason with myself that there is only a little sin it, after it did have good parts. More tragic then this father, I often rather watch a motive then spend time in prayer, or read the bible, or even share my faith. I thought this had worth, but really I missing the greatest thing. For a person who win souls is wise, I spent nights playing video games, becoming unaware of the world around, hours that passed. When was last time I went to church or a prayer meeting with the mind set, of not looking at the watch, is there so much concern what time it is over? Father when was the last time I was willing to linger in your presence, and give room for Holy spirit to work? I had bought new clothes taking such pride in my dress. My heart was heavy as I looked at my many clothes. The prices of some could make one weep. Could I bear without 8 pair of shoes so someone could have one . Pictures of the widow and young children popped in my mind.
I had thought it was my right to have these nice things. It all became ugly to me, as I thought of hundred of dollars I could of given to the poor, to the work for the kingdom. I am rich. I am Rich, this echoed and echoed, I am rich. Does my spending show where my heart really is, where my love is in? I am more willing to spend money on me, justified I need it, then to write a check to the Lord, who gave it to me in the first place. There was greedy joy in having more, when I had already had a enough. I valued my needs myself above everyone else. Although I claimed be a servant, my mind and thoughts would tell differently So I value my comfort, although there thousands dying daily, I was not priced with the urgency to give my life to that one who might be saved, I loved my restful nights and fun outings, Yet there so many who had never heard. What was my love for them, it was so little, or even my own brothers and sister, how much did I value what Christ had saved from, and value in Christ. My car, my house, this bed I sleep on, I value my sleep, My rest, My time. I value the worth of who I was by those who knew me. If I would be honest Lord these were all but idols, my sweet pleasures, My sweet joy. But now you come in mighty power revealing up to me, you have opened my eyes, to worthless things I have cling to, and forfeited the joy and pleasure is Christ. Missing engine to spark my fire, that Seeing you in all your supreme beauty. May my eyes be open to the glory of the Lord. May I see
your infinite worth. As I look upon the cross, can I do nothing but weep. Is not my heart torn, as I look at cross, reminding me the greatest sacrifice that was made. Oh Father did I see what worthless and wicked and evil sinner I am. Freedom and rejoice in faith I am free from being a slave to sin. Father what value do you have in you. Are you everything in my life? Are my reason when I awake up, can I not stop thinking about you?. O Father, I believe the lie, that what world offers in its hands will bring great joy then with you. Father you the creator thee author of my life, the one who holds everything together, whom is supreme and sovereign over all, we but are ants compared to you. But to forget this amazing love, this love that has no bounds it is unfailing. There is the fullness of joy when in your presence, what deception remains over your children’s eyes, brake us free, to you in all your worth. To cry out holy is the Lord.