Pain what teach me.

These last two weeks God has been working in my heart. I am very thankfull for what he is doing. My neck and back hurt today, I am sick . I just wanted it to go away. I just pray God what do you want to teach me?

charlene

One day getting to the wedding

I went to a wedding this past weekend. really didn't know what expect. as always Gods grace is with me. I was thankful for God reminded me how faithful he is, and how he is at out with me or without me. He doesn't need me, but it he allows me to take part.

talking with old friend was a blessing.

There was No planning, I just went. Not that I didn't want to plan. My mind was to scattered to do some planing before hand. I was sure glad I wasn't part of wedding what stress that would add. Just getting was alot for me.

so before I left to flagstaff, I met with a Hedi from Church. she has been a blessing to me. I had some tea as we taked. God had been showing me that my heart towards my health is cold and lazy and lack of trust in God.

I just don't care. Sinful and I want to hate this sin, But I don't. I listen to self, charlene just give up. What do I mean by just give up? That when I am tride I don't eat, I don't take the time to eat right. I just don't. or listening to this lazy heart and stop fighting for my time. By letting my blood sugar going high, it often makes me wast time. There is no true repentnce in my heart over this. I truly need God to brake me.

When getting to Flagstaff, I got on the city bus and held to my friends house. It was a good bus trip. But when I got to the street, I went the wrong way. I walked up to the end of the street, at that piont I felt my blood sugar feeling low, it was 9pm and I was alone. I started to get worked up. I tried to wave a car down. But they just went by. Another car started to come out I ask them where the street was they pionted in the right way. I was so tride and really didn't think I was going to make it. But It was God good testing to bring me to praise him in it.

They welcomed me in, and later I had a most wonderful talk with a young lady a little older then me. That just moved back to Az. I was sitting there, not really feeling to go and talk. They had a moive on, I really care much to watch it so I sat at the table. When they lady came in. I think I said hi. I offer her to sit down, and God then took over. I know it wasn't me. What good is there in me? God had me share my trail of Tuscon, How I hated it when I frist came. And how God has changed my heart. It really is about our veiw. God dosn't take the hardship away, because that often the means to make us more like him. And he is a faithfull and trust worthy God. He can meet our needs. Knowing who God is and who we are in Him also allows us to sumit without fear. "perfect love cast out all fear"

I just share what was on my heart. There was such a sweetness in her. This is always amazing to me. How those who we have never met and yet we can love them so deep. after that one talk God placed her on my heart.

Her husband told me that God spoke through me, Praise God that I could of been used by him

Do I really want to be used by God? what would that life look like?

I truly need the Grace of God.

Help dear God.

A letter Wriiten

I wrote this today to a brother, I thought I would share as God moved my heart to Write it.


So I have ponder can one agree in words and yet not in action? Here I have seen passion expressed, but no action to back it. My soul is saddened, lets be people of our words. What honor to one who, life lines up with what they say, what they say there lives agree with. In some cases there is this show of godliness. Or is it that culture that still has gripped them by their habits? Is It not that we just need to die to Christ, to die to all our ways. Who will come and be done fleeting desire of the world. Come flee and rise your eyes on Christ. Fix your eyes on all his commands. What does it mean to be doers of the word? Do not forget, but quickly act. May it not be that our testimony are invalid, because our words contradict themselves. It is not the pleading of his heart, come and delight in my words and do them.


I am brought back to Jerm, Where the king had the word brought to him, and read. And after each part he cut it and burned it. Oh such tardy and sorrow to burn the word of God. Would we be so proud to think I have never done such a thing? Does not tears come so quickly as this truth is to find in our lives? Oh what sorrow, do we not fall to your knees for I have burn the word. By not obeying that part, or passing it by. Oh may our heart response would be like the other King, who when the word was read to him, he torn his clothes and repented and changed his ways. Does the word affect us this way? The opening of the powerful living active word of God, brake us so deeply that our life style is changed? Is there repentances daily? It this so, or is it not? What affect is the word braking in and changing our every ways? May our cry be when I open this living word, drive deep show me open me, to see. Behold his word is living and active.
This bring me to wonder how can we agree in some degree and not in other ways if they are same. What if one says that beans hurtful they have no value, but I still like the green ones? Then you really don’t see there danger in them all? If one is truly convinced and convicted that all beans where bad, and hurtful. Then in that persons life they would not be eating them, or stating some are good. But we often categorize sin and the leave of it. Being we can state beans are hurtful, but if in heart we still love the greens one, we will justify that greens ones are good for the pursue of our own desire that we don’t want to put to death. As in 1 Samuel 15 Where God called him to destroy everything from the enemy camp, in God sight it had no value. “ All that was despised and worthless they devoted to destruction.” Yet he kept it because they seemed good, to reason and mind thinking we justify what God calls to be destroy we save, and even try to turn to be for worship. “ Behold to obey is better than sacrifice” It seems that the world delights as gripped us so, that we saving what is from enemy camp and bring into our home to offer back to God. Such things are not pleasing offering to God?
Are you so entangled with the lies of culture of worldly Fun? What sorrow for we have so gladly brought the wicked and worthless time waster in our home. Thousands gripped with a stolen gaze from Christ, to the Romaic stories and drama stories. What has capture us? Although not all movies for all time are sin, of Course God grace reigns and He can use such things. With honest and true heats, why be formed and listen and see what unbeliever think. Dwell on what is honorable, and true. Flee for our lives to be done with such fun. May God word burst in our hearts to Change us, to delight in Christ. To awake to say Christ be my fill, Christ I want you! I desire to run my race well. Being take from me all such things that take my eyes away from you even in the smallest ways. Indeed Christ, come and with your mercy Teach us your ways. Teach us to forsake all false and wicked ways. Teach, by grace to flee now that we might cry out Jesus we desire with all our heart to be Holy as you are Holy. To love as you love to hate as you hate. Teach Great and Holy God, to yield our ways. To die today.


So all thing lawful right? But is it so that they are the best? Come and reason with me. Do we not want to live in such ways that we desire the best not what is ok or good. No we don’t want to be wrapped up in worthless treasures of the world. Claiming all our rights to fun and pass time to vacation. What rights do we have in Christ? May God make our mind set on heavenly things as in say in Col. Think on heavenly things not earthy things. Set our eyes on the goal. The command that was given to us, Go and preach the gospel. Make Us Gospel Center. It is all about the Cross. How is the cross Center?
I know at this point I would be seen as judgmental and legalistic, to cry out against this culture love. But my heart pounds with such love and compassion for my beloved in Christ that they would see and taste the deep love of Christ, that they would see the greatest of the Cross, and this amazing and breath taking truth will stir their hearts and draw them to Christ. That his Living word will become our Life. I see the roaring lion is at bay to destroy our time our time with Christ and prayer. We are at war, awake quickly he is at hand to destroy, but Christ by his word and grace is ready to fight for us. Hear and see the deep deep love of Christ ready to come and consume our hearts. So with all respect and love from Christ, where is the time friend for such pleasure? What is our fellowship if is centered on A movie night. Let be my beloved that there is calling of prayer and call of hunger for God. Would we put it away and get hungry for God, To fast and pray. To share to preach to live a life given to the will of God. To take such time to study and know Gods word. We must not be people mixed with the worldly lovers, come dear bride of Christ, and give your love to one. Come and worship him alone. Come and be more then knowledge and lets live Holy lives. Come to know what our Christ loves and Hates. Do we dear to ask? Do we dear to throw it way? Those who are holy will see the Lord.
What is the pursuit of Holiness? This radical living? To stand and say I am not of this world. I don’t want to love this world or things of it. But to store my treasure in heaven. Do we see our time as passing so quickly? What effect do we give to holy living? Again I am brought what hungry burns within? How do desire to seek God? Whom is willing to wait and tarry in prayer all night. Come and lets learn to seek the Lord. To turn away from all things from such pursuit to know God.


I am sadden that there much childish play and joking and much silly talk. But in all cases my extorted all to praise God for each beloved in our lives, to grow in love for them. To thank God daily for them. Gods who starts the work in us he will bring it to pass. Put our hope in Christ he can work in us and change us, By his grace we are changed from one glory to the next. So let our hearts always have thankful for the grace that we do see in others lives. But lets be quick to flee from idols, and love Christ more. We need to put away all this silly childish play, and be sober and be men and women rising to fill our roles. There is the great need of agony and fervent prayers. To be brokenness weeping repentance and sorrow. Humility and meekness. To put away our carless and childish ways, our lips our words our action. Would be all to his glory. That these young men would take hold of the word of God and drop to their knees and become men of prayer. A deep hungry in their hearts. But for Christ to fill us we must be empty, are we willing, to forsake it all to know Christ more and have filling us and working through us. Let us take up the cross. And be a light for Christ. Let not this world lies move us and love to sit and listen to its lovely words. May Christ words be all the more beautiful.

Once again I have written more then I thought to, May His grace be with me. My dear beloved in Christ my brother, I know not you, but as I look at your facebook, I heart feel you contradict yourself. You say you agree with tv and yet you claim these other movies good. What is good in them? This may be upsetting, but by Grace honesty? King kong? Few want to flee the these desires and fun and enjoyable things, but I pray that Christ will grip your heart to delight in Him more and his word will be more then any of these movie could ever be, These are worldly movies, they go against what you said. With I agree?

Thoughts on Doing,,,,

As I have read the first three Chapters of the Book John piper desireing God, I was moved to write. What truth to wrap my heart around to bring me to my face, but what if I say a thousand amen’s and walk away and live the same. And it never comes into action. I can feel the pounding of my heart, that it would say. never let it be. As I pondered such truth today, I started to weep. Brought again to pray, oh God would not such breath taking truth be taken with more then just knowledge delight. Don’t ever let me be more eager to read 100 amazing books, then to have a soul that earns and longs to be with you alone. Let it not be that the greatest book would never be pushed a side for such wisdom from man. Let my heart long after you, to taste the sweetness of your words.

What is such wonderful truth, what is it if I sought these things. What if I read 100 amazing books, what if I went to Bible school? Oh I could tell, Oh that I know, then write and speak such truth, if all this knowledge stays on the self of my heart, and never pierced my core. If it never changes into actions, then so much was in vain. My heart weeps, laid heavy with so much knowledge, yet there are few who are willing forsake all to seek the face of God; To forsake all earthly entertainment. Why must we pursue to make what is unholy holy. Should we not bring what is pure and holy to the altar of worship?

Why must there be such mixing of world and worship? How can we claim these truths and still be gripped with worthless time wasters? To be counted a fool, to take these truths and make them our life style. I have heard so many to tell read this and listen to this, and never once pointing me my living water. So much understanding, yet few who bow their knees and stay there all night whose heart agonizes over their sins and this wicked nation. I have heard and speak so passionately of preaching the gospel, yet few step out in faith few are them, who are willing to dare to take such truth and make it their life breath. Knowledge without action is lifeless.Prov. 8:9-13What is this Narrow path to which we so often speak of? Are we willing to pay the cost of walking this path? What does it look like for a life to live, to walk upon the Narrow path, straight ahead eyes focused on Christ.

The path few take, the one of risk yet safety. The one that costs everything yet costs nothing. The one You die first so you will live. This path of extreme joy, yet great sorrows. A path where giving is gain and loving is what is always what is owed. The path where not everything goes, where sin is no ones friend. But Christ exalted and sought after. A path to know feel and be like Christ. A path that takes risks of life for the sake of Christ. A path that takes no pleasure in joy and fun things of world. A path committed and devoted to the Holy cause of Christ. A path to which sin is vehemently hated. And righteousness sought. The pearl is sought and all other things are worthless to its worth. To who travel on this path, hands and feet may become weary, but their hearts are always rejoicing. Their shoes are worn for they are carriers of the Good news to the nations. They have forsaken all that hindered and set their face on the goal that they run not their race in vain.We bring glory to God when we delight in Him. Therefore that should be our pursuit. “God’s quest to be glorified and our quest to be satisfied reach their goal in this one experience” God has zeal for his own glory.

Therefore we should have zeal for God’s zeal. But what does this look like in our lives to be so passionate about God’s glory? Would we weep when we shame our father and sin? Although when we sin if we ask to forgive he is faithful and just to forgive. But what is a life that cries’s out NOT to us but to your glory. To say whatever I do let be to the glory of God. Even eating and drinking. I wonder if we can say these small things do not matter. Too often we eat as please and whatever we want and as much as we want, does this bring glory to God? It is too easy to say Oh God let everything I do bring glory to your name. But to ask that every part be conformed to his will to his glory, it will come against my own flesh desires.

Then question comes are we willing to surrender or not? One friend told couple years ago. Do not be sad you have been caught in sin, don’t just weep or the sin. But weep most importantly when you have, my dear sister you, not brought glory to God. Let that sink deep she said. So to be a child of God is “Christian hedonist?” God satisfies those who put their hope in Him. “All who cast themselves on God find that they are carried into endless joy by Gods omnipotent to his own glory.” john piperGives not his glory to another, Praise God. I have seen this. God does want to share his glory but too often we want to take that glory and boast in what we have done. With much humbling from God again and again I have been taught apart from Him I can’t do anything. It has and will always be his great and amazing grace that keep us and works through us

.In Chrsit