Denny Kenastoncourtig #1Number one: one with a vision. One with a vision, one that sees beyond just having a husband or a wife. You want one with a vision higher than that. You want one that sees eternal things as they look down the road, and as they look at marriage and they consider life and the future, and what God’s will is for them. You find one that sees something, that sees godliness, that sees order, that sees a godly family, that sees a testimony, that sees a life message, that sees the work of God, that sees the building of the kingdom. You find one like that. I’ve often said, and I do believe this, don’t even consider the ones that don’t have any vision. “Well, I want to get married.”“What for?”“I need wife! I need a husband!”“What for?”“Well, I’d like to have some children.”Don’t’ go that way. The goals are so much higher than that, so much higher.Number two: You need one that is virtuous. A virtuous woman, a virtuous man. “A virtuous one? What do you mean one that is virtuous,”?
Well, we can look at Proverbs Chapter 31, on the ladies side the most beautiful commentary on a virtuous woman that you’ll ever find in the Bible, and it’s all put together, there, all packed together in all of those verses. And I tell you, you won’t find this kind out in the world, and you won’t find in a worldly Church, usually, because the goals of the women in many Churches today are far from those in Proverbs Chapter 31. But I’d like you to consider Proverbs Chapter 31 when you are looking for a virtuous woman. You find one who’s virtuous like it is in Proverbs Chapter 31. And those are “down home” virtues, the kind that make for an orderly home. The kind that make for a godly home, [and] blessed children. You look for one like that. One that knows how to sew, one that knows how to cook, one that knows how to keep a house, one that would be concerned about children. You look for one like you find there in Proverbs Chapter 31. I assure you, that’s the kind that you need. Forget about the natural beauty. I’m not against that, but if you put that n the top of your list, you may be surprised, young men, and you may be surprised, young ladies. The most beautiful one, the most handsome one, is often not the most virtuous one. I’m not saying it’s always that way, but don’t put it at the top of the list. You take a young lady or young man, you get that heart clear, and clean, and pure, you fill that heart with the grace of God, you let them be filled with the joy of God, and get a radiance on that face, and he’ll be beautiful, and he’ll be handsome, even though he may not have everything just perfect on him. A virtuous woman, but also a virtuous man. There is no Chapter in the Bible on virtuous men. I believe the reason for that is because the whole Bible is there to challenge us men. It’s all there. But you look for a man who’s filled with virtues.Godly characters: point number three. One who has been developing the qualities of godliness in their life. ..But one who is developing the qualities of godly character, and you know they’re changing, they’re allowing God to work on them in this area, God is purified over here. You look for one like that, who has their focus on godly character, and they’re in the midst of God transforming their life into the beautiful character of Christ.Point number four, and the one has already been said, but I want to say it again in another perspective, “What kind of partner do I need?”. Consider this matter of authority. Young men, you don’t need a wife who has not found this beautiful place of being under the authority of her father and her mother. You do not need a wife like that. You do not need it. But you say, “But she’s pretty!”, “But I like her”, “But I don’t think it will be a problem!”. Her me, hear me, you don’t need a wife that has not learned the beautiful place of being under the authority of her father and her mother. You don’t need one like that. I’m not saying God can’t work in spite of all of that, but now we’re down here choosing. If I could use Brother Bill as an illustration, you know
“Now don’t just walk in there and just stick your hand in that wood lathe”. You don’t need one like that. And young ladies, you don’t need a young man, who has not learned to be under authority. I tell you from experience from watching many, many a home. If he doesn’t know how to be under authority, he will absolutely fail at being in authority. If he doesn’t know how to be under authority, he won’t be a leader. He might stomp on you, he might push you around, but he will not be a leader. If he doesn’t know how to be under authority, he won’t be a leader in a good way, in a positive way. He won’t be one of those who leads out and says, “Let’s go in this direction,”. It doesn’t happen. Secrets, secrets, young men, young ladies. This is a big secret. But really, it’s not, [but] this is one that you don’t want to just pass over in your mind. You need a husband, you need a wife, that has mastered this area of authority.And lastly, and I said this already, but I’ll say it again, you need one who is in love with Jesus. It’s not enough to say, “Well, she says she’s a Christian.”, “He goes to a good church.”, “He’s in a good youth group,”. It’s not enough to do that. Those things can be put on. There’s plenty of hypocrites around. It’s not enough to say, “I’m a Christian”, it’s not enough to say, “I love Jesus”, it’s not enough to go to a good church, it’s not even enough to be from a good family! That’s not enough! You need to love Jesus, and you need to be able to know that by the testimony of their life.What about the waiting?I’d like to encourage you to wait emotionally. Wait emotionallySave yourself emotionally for your husband, for your wife. I believe that God’s best, God’s perfect will, God’s sweetest order, as much as possible is that you be a virgin physically, and emotionally when you enter into this matter of marriage. I believe that’s God’s perfect will that you be a virgin, not just physically, but emotionally, and I praise God that around here we have the standard of physically purity and virginity. Praise God for that. I just rejoice over it. I’ve been around a lot, it’s a beautiful thing, and we’re blessed that we have that standard. But I tell you, I believe we need to raise the standard a little higher than that, because just like everything else in the Christian life, just like we heard from Brother Phillip today, it’s not the act, it’s the heart. Save yourself emotionally for your husband. Young men, save yourself emotionally for your wife.
How beautiful that a young man can hold his emotions back and watch guard over them, and not allow them to run away, and not give them to this young lady, and then give them to this young lady, and she may not even know that you did it, but you did it. But just hold those emotions in check. Why? I’m saving them for the most precious woman in my life. I don’t know who she is yet, but I’m saving them for her. Sorry all of you other young ladies, this is a prized possession, and I’m saving these emotion for the precious young lady of my life’s partner. Young ladies, you do the same. You put a reign on your emotions. Put a reign on them. Don’t let them go. If I could just encourage you sisters, throw away all of those romance books. I mean that. I don’t even you try to figure out what’s wrong with them, I think you need to do it just because I told you to throw them away, because they’re ruining you.What should you do? Young men, what should you do? Should you build a big business? Should you make a bunch of money while you’re waiting? No, you won’t mature if you do that. You’ll be waiting a long time. Don’t do that; use these years of waiting to deepen your relationship with God and your relationship with others. Use these years of waiting as a motivation to holiness and to purity. Use these years for that. Use your desire to get married, to have a wife, use that motivation to change your whole life. The motivation to have a wife, what a powerful thing it is?
